Archdiocese Workers Behavioral Guidelines on Interactions with Children and Young People

The public and private conduct of Workers* can inspire and motivate people, and can draw them to the Church, but it can also scandalize and undermine people’s faith. Workers must at all times be aware of the responsibilities that accompany their work. They must also know that God’s goodness and grace supports them in their ministry.

Working with children and young people is a special joy, but also carries special responsibilities. No one should ever compromise a child's innocence or tarnish his or her openness to good relationships. Christ our Lord preached:

Whoever receives one little child like this in My name receives Me.

But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Mt. 18:5-6.

While adult interactions with children and young people must be tailored for the particular context and child, some guidelines and consideration can inform good ministry practices.

1. Children and young people look to adults for examples of appropriate behavior. Actions speak louder than words. Adults should model the virtues of humility, chastity, and meekness. They should treat others with respect and courtesy; practice compassion; use appropriate language; and avoid sexualized humor, language, or conversation. They should, in every regard, model honorable behavior and relationships.

a. Those working with young people should generally not discuss their own sexual activities or desires, nor should they solicit such information from a young person.

b. Humor regarding sexual issues usually models a lack of respect for men or women, or for the marital love that God blesses, and is thus prohibited.

c. Those working with young people should never express sexual desires for another individual, or a desire to commit immoral acts with others (e.g. use drugs, view sexual materials, drink alcohol with a minor, etc d. Alcohol and drugs, whether or not permitted by law, are prohibited at youth ministry events.

2. Some children have had unhealthy experiences with relationships in the past. Children interpret actions through the lens of prior experiences and an undeveloped understanding. On one hand, human touch in fellowship can express signs of Christ's love and healing. On the other, human touch can be disordered or sinful. Most understand the difference between appropriate touching that signifies fellowship, forgiveness, compassion, or the love of

*Workers" includes: Deacons and seminarians serving the Archdiocese or a Parish, or attached to or on assignment by or visiting the Archdiocese; Servants of the Archdiocese or Parishes, including without limitation, Sunday School teachers, youth leaders, lay counselors; and, Paid Employees in the Archdiocese or any Parish.

Christ, and touching that is sexual or capable of being perceived as sexual. Everyone serving in children and youth ministry must carefully consider the character of their physical contact with the young people they serve.

a. In most situations, it is inadvisable to hug unless the child so asks or initiates. Hugs or handshakes should generally be brief, and only in full view of others, such as parents. Adults should remember that if a young person is pulling away before the adult, then the adult has "hung on" too long and should immediately take the cue that shorter or less physical contact is more appropriate for that individual.

b. Other forms of touching, while rare, might be necessary in unusual situations. Examples include carrying a child who is injured, assisting a child who is ill, and bandaging a wound. In all cases, adults should focus on abiding by the young person's wishes when possible, and on attending to the young person's best interests.

c. Except in the case of swimming and other water activities, those who work with children should be fully clothed.

d. Clothing worn by those who work with children and young people should be modest and appropriate to the activity or situation. For example, a low-cut top for women, or a muscle shirt for men is not generally appropriate for an individual leading a youth activity. Neither, generally, is tight, short or revealing apparel.

3. One-to-one ministry requires extraordinary judgment and care. Good ministry is about relationship. While Church relationships often occur in groups, they sometimes occur in two-person dialogues. Carefully weigh the signals and risks before getting involved in any one-to-one encounters. Might such an encounter be confusing to the young person? Where is the least confusing site for such a meeting? Is an office with the door open a better site than a restaurant? Is significant travel alone with a child ever appropriate? Does a pattern of gifting a child suggest favoritism or relationship grooming? Does a one-to-one meeting put Clergy or other Workers at risk for a false accusation? Interactions with young people must simultaneously be appropriate and appear appropriate.

a. Consistently giving rides to or gifting just one young person can be viewed as favoritism by both that young person and also other young people. It can also provide a gateway to immoral conduct. Furthermore, it is seldom appropriate to be alone with a child or young person in a car.

b. A young person who asks for a one-to-one consultation should receive that support in a manner that allows the young person to feel supported but also with the ability to leave at any time. To the extent possible, such consultation should happen in an open space in view of others.

c. It is generally advisable to copy other Archdiocesan or Church staff on electronic communications with youth. Activity on Church social media sites should be accessible to more than one member of Archdiocesan or Church staff, and emails and texts should generally copy another Archdiocesan or Church staff member.

d. Frequently communicating with a young person using texts, emails, or social media can be a sign that an inappropriately close relationship is developing between an adult and a young person. Adults who find themselves in one-to-one communication

with a young person should immediately seek the assistance and oversight of another adult member of Archdiocesan or church staff.

e. In a retreat setting, it is inappropriate to allow children or young people to share beds or other sleeping space with a member of the clergy, an employee, or servant.

f. It is rarely, if ever, appropriate to allow children or young people to have overnight stays in the residence of a member of the Clergy, other Worker, employee, or servant of the Church and is never appropriate to allow them to share a bed or other sleeping space in these circumstances.

4. Children and young people can have difficulty articulating their discomfort. Adults must be

alert to a young person's physical and verbal cues because children are often unskilled in identifying and protecting their own boundaries.

a. Give young people a safe way to "opt out" of working with an individual they seem hesitant about. In some cases, there might not be any particular problem with the individual him- or herself, but they might remind the young person of a difficult or significant experience in their past. Allowing young people a choice gives them the opportunity to get to know the individual at a more gradual pace and on their own terms.

b. Indirect cues should trigger further inquiry. In most cases, if a young person indicates a desire to avoid a particular individual, other staff should follow up to find out if there has been any inappropriate behavior on the part of such individual.

5. Children can either exaggerate or trivialize incidents. While adults must take every complaint seriously, they must also verify facts before reaching conclusions.

a. Workers who receive a complaint of sexual misconduct must immediately consult the Archdiocesan Sexual Misconduct and Physical Abuse and Neglect Policy and report the complaint consistent with that policy.

b. In order to protect the privacy concerns of the alleged victim, individuals who report complaints must never share details of the complaint with others without the expressed permission of the Archdiocesan Regional Vicar or Regional Policy Coordinator.

c. In order to protect the reputation of alleged offenders who might later be found not to be at fault, individuals who report complaints must never share information outside the reporting requirements.

6. Children and young people deserve personal privacy. Although most Church and

Archdiocesan activities are in group settings, there are times when a child needs individual attention. Such times may involve counseling a child or giving a child physical care or assistance. In these situations, adults should provide such care with the needs of the child remaining paramount and with due consideration to the appearances of propriety.

a. While there are exceptions, children and young people should generally be given total privacy when performing activities that involve disrobing, such as showering, changing clothes, and bathroom activities.

 

b. If assistance with any form of bodily issue is absolutely required, this assistance should usually be given by an adult of the same gender as the young person and more than one adult should ordinarily be present in the immediate vicinity.

Archdiocesan Clergy and other Workers must also refer to the Archdiocesan Sexual Misconduct and Physical Abuse and Neglect Policy for more information regarding these issues.

 

Our children are the most important gifts God has entrusted to us. As a Worker under the Workers

Behavioral Guidelines on Interactions with Children and Young People (“Guidelines”), I promise to strictly follow the Archdiocesan Sexual Misconduct and Physical Abuse and Neglect Policy (“Policy”) and give careful consideration to the General Guidelines as a condition of my providing services to our Archdiocesan children and youth.

As an employee, or servant, I will:

• Treat everyone with respect, loyalty, patience, integrity, courtesy, dignity, and consideration.
• Use positive reinforcement rather than criticism, competition, or comparison when working with children or youth.
• Refuse to accept any gifts in connection with my service from children or youth or their parents without prior written approval from the priest responsible
• Refrain from giving expensive gifts to children or youth without prior written approval from the parents or guardian and the priest responsible.
• Report suspected abuse consistent with the Archdiocesan Policy.
• Cooperate fully in any investigation of alleged abuse of children or youth.

As an employee, or servant, I will not:

• Abuse at all, or otherwise use or possess any nicotine product during church functions.
• Abuse at all, or otherwise possess or be influenced by an inebriant during church functions.
• Abuse at all, or otherwise use or ingest or possess any legal impairing substance during church functions.
• Use, possess, or be under the influence of any illegal drug.
• Pose any health risk to children or youth (i.e., no fevers or other contagious conditions
• Strike, spank, shake or slap children or youth.
• Humiliate, ridicule, threaten, or degrade children or youth.
• Touch a child or youth in a sexual or other inappropriate manner.
• Use any discipline that frightens or humiliates children or youth.
• Use profanity or other inappropriate speech.
• Engage in frequent one-to-one personal or electronic communications with a young person without the oversight of a member of Archdiocesan or Church staff.

I understand that as a Worker interacting with children or youth, I am subject to a background check including criminal history. I understand that any action inconsistent with this Affirmation or failure to take action mandated by this Affirmation may result in my removal as a Worker with children or youth.