MY WELLNESS PLAN

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!

 

AVOID DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSES THROUGH PLANNING AND ROUTINE

 

     This may feel like a strange conversation.

     Because if you’re reading this, you’re most likely calm.  And when we’re calm, and rational, we feel like we should always stay that way.  Our “plan” is to remain calm.  We say to ourselves—Okay…I’m in control right now.  All I have to do is keep an eye on everything and stay in control.

      This is NOT a good plan. 

      Why?

      Because rational thought is hard to access in emotional situations.   We often lose the ability to be reasonable when we need it most.  

     We all have buttons, our triggers, and our weakest moments.  It is hard to avoid reactionary behavior, destructive impulses when facing these times.  We may yell, say things we don’t mean, break things we value…or worse.   We often find ourselves regretting our actions during these episodes.

     And even if we control our behavior, manage not to be destructive, we still pay a huge price for these contained emotional explosions.  We may not sleep, be on-edge, and obsess throughout the night.  It can take weeks before our bodies begin the slow process of calming down from a highly triggered event. 

     So what should we do? We can we do when we can’t count on ourselves to think reasonably.

      We should practice a well-rehearsed plan—a rational routine.

     Because even though it is hard to access the reasonable part of our brains when we’re emotional, the routine and practiced component is still available.   What we keep—even in highly emotional states—is the ability to access well-rehearsed behaviors and routines. 

     This is why people “practice” in anticipation of emotional situations.

 

Basketball players shoot free throws.

Soldiers drill.

Politicians rehearse speeches.

 

     They do this so they can implement appropriate behavior in emotional situations without having to try to figure out how to behave in a heightened moment.  This lets them stay in control of behavior; lets them return to a calmness faster.  The earlier we intervene, the more effective our interventions.

    This also let’s us prepare contingency plans unless our first options are effective or available.

     I believe in these.   I use them on daily basis. 

     Not only to keep myself calm but to appreciate my life more, to make the most of all of my experiences…even the difficult ones.

     Let’s start by looking for triggers and warning signs. 

 

 

TRIGGERS

 

     What are my triggers? What are the types of situations I’m vulnerable in?  These can be confrontations, crowds, authority figures, vulnerability, watching innocents get hurt (children, animals), or others. 

     For me, I’ve always been triggered when someone acts like something is my responsibility that I have no control over.  Not quite sure why, but I find this ridiculously irritating.  Another big one of my personal triggers is respect and dignity.  Every human being is entitled to it.  No one has to earn it.  And they can’t lose it.  And it always triggers me when I see it being taken, or in some cases, given away.  Along those lines, I’m probably triggered by arrogance as well, from individuals and institutions.

     Triggers are generally cumulative.   More of them on top of one another tend to exaggerate their effect.  If you would like you can even rate them on a scale of 1-10 with 1 being the more mild triggers, 10 being the most severe.  Its okay if they can’t be quantified at this moment.  These will change over time as you identify new ones.

    Don’t be surprised if you end up with a lot of these and more over time.  That’s okay.  That’s the process of learning yourself.   

     Here are some common triggers. 

Confrontations

Crowds

Authority Figures

Arrogance

Disrespect of basic dignity.

Being in Positions of Vulnerability

Medical or dental procedures or interactions

Not being able to assist those I care about

Feeling like I’ve been betrayed

Feeling like I’ve been abandoned

Feeling judged

Being told I’m responsible for a situation I have little control over.

Feeling forced or pressured to do something I don’t want to do.

Others or clarification including if there are more specifics (confrontation with a certain person or type of person, etc).

 

 

WARNING SIGNS

 

     What are my warning signs?   How do I automatically react to stressors?Do I pace?  Get very quiet?  Clench my muscles?  Start to have certain images flash? 

     These aren’t coping skills.  These are things you automatically do that don’t seem to help.  They are warning signs that you should start using your coping skills.

    Personally, I get very quiet, almost feel myself detaching a little from the situation.  I also clench my jaw.  Over a lifetime I’ve learned, Hey John.  This is REALLY bothering you. 

What are your warning signs?

Here are some common ones:

 

Thoughts

     My thoughts race.

     I start to see images of the past.

Feelings

     I feel worthless.

     I feel like I’m a burden.

     I feels hopeless.   

     I feel trapped

Physical Sensations

     I can’t eat.

     I feel flushed, warm, or dizzy.

     My heart starts to race.

Behavior

     I crave drugs or alcohol

     I drink more

     I start to pace.

     I tense my muscles.

     I scratch myself or start to pull my hair.

     I can’t sleep.

     I get very quiet.

 

 

 

 

COPING SKILLS

 

These can be thoughts or actions that we do to soothe ourselves.  And over a lifetime, you’ll get a lot of these.   

 

Sometimes I go for a walk or a swim. 

 

Sometimes I gently rub the back of my head and say to myself, “It’s okay John.  You’re just doing the best you can.”   

 

Sometimes I try to imagine my children living a life similar to mine and imagine what I would say to them in a supportive way.  Then I try to say it to myself. 

 

Sometimes I look at the smallest thing in the room that seems peaceful and focus on that for thirty seconds.

 

Sometimes I remind myself that I don’t need a guarantee that everything will work out to pat myself on the back for making reasonable decisions. 

 

Sometimes I try and remember that one day I’ll look back and miss the challenges and stressors of my life.

 

Sometimes I lie down on the couch and think to myself that I am living a more luxurious existence than the wealthiest person who was alive 300 years ago. 

 

Sometimes the first ones work.  Sometimes you have to move on.   Coping is a fluid experience that requires moving on if something isn’t working. 

What are your coping skills?

 

COPING PLACES AND PEOPLE

 

Sometimes we have to lean on people or places to bring us back to being calm…a spouse, a friend, a park, or even a coffee house.

Strangely, I found McDonalds very comforting in medical school.  They were always open, easy to find, and similar inside.

I’ve moved on to parks as I’ve gotten older. 

People can also help to calm us.  Friends, family, coworkers, and acquaintances can serve this role in different ways.

One thing about people, is never count on them to always be available.  They may be preoccupied, unable to assist in the moment, or unavailable.   They are part of a plan but can never be guaranteed to be available at every moment.   Of course, you could make that statement for every coping skill, that is why is so important to have many.

Try to be specific…and if available give contact information.

 

CHANGING OUR ENVIRONMENT TO AVOID DESTRUCTIVE IMPULSIVITY

 

We can also adjust our environment to reduce destruction.   We can remove firearms if they are more likely to do us harm than help us at the current time.  We can minimize large quantities of dangerous pills.  We can remove alcohol from our homes.

If I find myself getting too hooked on a game or phone application, I’ll remove it from my phone and give my brain a rest from that impulsivity.   

These are ways we can make our environment safer. 

 

 

REACHING OUT IN URGENT SITUATIONS

 

Sometimes nothing seems to work.

Sometimes medical issues or stressors make it impossible to use your coping skills.

Part of every plan is recognizing when you need more help and continuing to seek assistance until you get it.

There are a number of 24-hour access lines and locations below. 

As part of your plan, plan to reach out to any or as many of them as it takes.  If you get a bad connection on one of them, move on to the next.   The plan is to find a reasonable connection.

Most importantly, do NOT wait.

If your therapist or doctor is on vacation, talk to someone who is covering for them, if that isn’t working ask to talk to someone else, call a crisis line, or go to the emergency room.

Whatever action you take, avoid being destructive and making things worse while you continue to seek out solutions to make it better.   

And if you’re wondering…yes I have these numbers myself as well.  We all have the possibility of becoming completely lost in the dark corners of our minds.

Have multiple plans to find your way out.   

 

 

 

PROFESSIONALS I CAN REACH OUT TO

 

Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Citrus County Lifestream Crisis Line: 866-355-9394

Veteran Crisis Line:  1-800-273-8255. (Text 838255)

 

 

 

Local Urgent Psychiatric Services

 

The Vines Psychiatric Hospital

24 hour Emergency care and Hospitalization

866-671-3130

https://thevineshospital.com/
3130 Southwest 27th Ave. Ocala, FL 34471

 

Springbrook Psychiatric Hospital

24 hour Emergency care and Hospitalization

352-600-3288

https://www.springbrookhospital.org/

7007 Grove Road, Spring Hill, FL 

 

Lifestream Behavioral Center

Medication, therapy and 24 hour Emergency care and Hospitalization

866-355-9394

https://www.lsbc.net/

 

 

 

The Centers

Medication, therapy and 24 hour Emergency care and Hospitalization

352-291-5555

https://www.thecenters.us/

 

 

 

Transitions Behavioral Program at Citrus Memorial Hospital

Medication, therapy and Partial Hospitalization and Intensive Outpatient Hospitalization

352-341-6111

https://www.citrusmh.com/specialties/behavioral-health

 

 

 

Veteran Hospitals

Emergency Psychiatric Care for Veterans 24 hours a day.

 

James A. Haley Veterans' Hospital

13000 Bruce B. Downs
Tampa, FL 33612
Phone: 813-972-2000
Fax: 813-972-7673

 

Malcom Randall VA Medical Center

1601 SW Archer Road
Gainesville, FL 32608
352-376-1611 | 800-324-838