We strongly recommend that all member clients be in therapy with a trauma therapist who also has extensive education in coercive control and parental alienation.
It is important for parents to show a pattern of behavior without stating what it is. You need to let the professionals call it domestic violence and abuse. We really do not care what they call it, so long as they see the destruction dysfunctional behaviors and their affects on the children.
- Create short simple single sentences for each events. It should look something like a list of things to do.
- The key is to include all the events that have transpired since the problems began.
- Things like new BF/GF* is important.
- Things like deaths or tragic incidents are important.
- Denials of access to visitation, medical, educational and so on are important.
- All court and mediations and other legal events are important especially in context with behaviors before and after them.
- If you have evidence or statements to support each event, either hyperlink them to the event or create a folder of addendums such as Addendum A, Addendum B or if you are really good with technology, you can try to create an in document hyperlink to the addendums at the end of your chronology or create a google/dropbox type file for them to access the exhibits.
*BF/GF = Boyfriend/Girlfriend
Example:
- 01-02-2000: Met or Married
- 02-02-2001: First child born, then list all other children born with their dates
- 03-20-2002: List any life events such as close family or friends deaths, court issues, other events. Make sure everything is chronological.
- 04-23-2005: Separated - Divorced
- 05-28-2006: Denied access, Children refused to come.
- 06/02/2006: Discovered Not notified of medical appointments, blocked from school records and communications with school, doctors etc.
- 06-21-2007: List all dates of court appearances and what happened in one sentence. List any pre and post events that happened to these court events such as if you are denied visitation, but the week before court all of a sudden she allows you to see them. Or visa versa, you win in court and your kids now come to you vitriol and angry and aggressive.
Then Use a color code of the chronology to designate the following. Provide the color key with this as well.
Blue = No visitation issues.
Green = Visitation issue at first but calmed down
Orange = Visitation issues with rudeness and so on
Red = Visitation never occurred.
Purple = Medical Neglect
Yellow = Education Neglect
Pink = Everything else
Black = Court Dates, mediations, depositions, deaths, job losses or other traumatic events
Lastly, we strongly suggest becoming a member of the nonprofit so you can access our private closed support groups internationally and locally as well as get notifications on webinars. It is dirt cheap at $50 once a year for parents/extended family and $100 for Professionals. Go to the following webpage of our site and click the Parents and Extended Family link. https://www.pas-intervention.org/membership.html With the membership, our professionals list is free, as is our Local & International online support group.
For additional intensive coaching, consulting and support, there is a $50 an hour consulting fee whether over the phone or in person on all cases or if extensive email exchanges are needed. This helps to pay for our employees time and resources.
By responding to these questions, it is our way of getting your agreement to the privacy and confidentiality of the members past, present and future.